Well for starters I'll tell you guys about the summary of chapter one because that's what I'm going to change I mean the chapter that I'm going to make my own.Oh wait in the left side here's a pic of Agamemnon and Achilles with someone well I just took the picture from goolge this are not my pictures so ler's begin
Agamemnon took the daughter of the priest but the priest begged Agamemnon for him to return his daughter but Agamemnon refused even though the priest offered him some ransom in exchange for his daughter. The priest prayed to Apollo to punish the Danaans for what they have done and Apollo punished them. Achilles talked to Agamemnon to give the daughter back but because of his stubbornness Agememnon said to achilles that he will return the priest's daughter in exchange for the girl of Achilles... and so on and so forth...
Now this is my part or my revised version of chapter 1.
After Agamemnon took the daughter of the priest and all of the Danaans we're suffering because of Apollo, Achilles talked to Agamemnon and said that he should return the daughter of the priest and because of his stubbornness he refused but will agree if Achilles gave his girl to Agamemnon in exchange for the priest's daughter. Because of this Achilles got angry at Agamemnon and pointed his sword at Agamemnon and said that *If you Don't return the daughter I promise that I will kill you!* Agamemnon Didn't even feel the slightest feel because he knows that Achilles cannot do that for the puny reason that Agamemnon was the king and the leader of the Greeks but Achilles was Dead serious and Challenge him to a fight. the battle was intense but Agamemnon cannot hope to beat Achilles his strongest soldier so Achilles killed Agamemnon and overthrew his rule as a king so Achilles became the king and returned the daughter of the priest and apologized for what Agamemnon did and because of this event Achilles was feared by all of the people in his rule.
Well that's all I can do so what do you think? Achilles was my Favorite character in the story and I hated the guts of Agamemnon so I made him Disappear and made Achilles the ruler or king while still being the strongest warrior
it looks so casual and that is not a good thing...
ReplyDeleteand i don't think there is depth in your work
Score: 20
ReplyDeleteSo how will the twist affect the story? How will the epic end?